XXL magazinehas been trash for some time now. 60% of the Earth is covered with water but 90% of XXL is covered with advertisements. The remaining 10% is as boring and predictable as Jay Leno.
I stopped reading it a while ago, but faced with a long train ride from BX to BK, I pissed away five bucks on the latest issue. What a huge mistake that was. After flipping through a chapter of ads, the bullshit began immediately.
Before we discuss why they should drive a Katana blade through their gut, check out this clip from the new XXL…
CALCULATED BY KHALID STRICKLAND a.k.a. BLACK PACINO
With our favorite rappers getting arrested, robbed and sentenced to jail on a daily basis, it’s hard to keep up with who’s earning or losing street cred. Like the stock market, the value of street cred rises and falls. Plies for instance, lost cred when he hid from goons in a bathroom at his video shoot. On the contrary, Lil’ Boosie’s street cred went through the roof when his initial one-year prison sentence quadrupled into the length of a Presidential term due to parole violations.
But how do we calculate the value of such a priceless commodity? I propose a “point system.” From now on, rappers will tally a certain amount of points based on their stupid… uh, I mean strategic methods of reinforcing credibility. By the same token they will lose points for doing things that tarnish a gangsta’s resume; like taking a stand on politics, exposing the downside of drug dealing and other lame shit.
Below the jump, I’ve devised a foolproof system that will change the Hip-Hop game forever…
CUSTOMIZED BY KHALID STRICKLAND a.k.a. BLACK PACINO
PHOTOS BY TRENT SHERRILL, TWOTONZ, ELLIOT GILBERT, ELDE STEWART, EDGAR HOILL, MARCO A. PATINO, JOHN PINEDA, KEM WEST & STEVIE B
Long before “urban model” magazines were all the rage, two other publications satisfied my sweet tooth for eye candy: Lowriderand Streetlow. As a fan of tricked-out whips and hot Latina babes, I never missed an issue. Now I’ve got a pile of ‘em stacked higher than flapjacks on Rex Ryan’s plate. So of course, I did the honorable thing and scanned some of the pages for my homies. Most of these are rare pics collected over the years and until the vultures swoop in, this may be the only place to see ‘em online. Also packaged are brilliant images by TwoTonz and Trent Sherrill, both of whom love car culture and have an eye for the hotties who inhabit the scene.
One thing I dig about these ladies is that for the most part, they’re all natural. Many of them favored the pretty cashiers working at my local Met Food supermarket… in other words they’re “hood fine.” Lowrider and Streetlow didn’t abuse Photoshop’s airbrush function or O.D. on the makeup the way so many mags do now. The shorties actually look attainable. Of course, the cars are equally gorgeous.
Pop the trunk and view an array of colorful, sexy photographs. Marvel at the whips and drool over the chicks. There are also a few prizes at the bottom of the box: BONUS VIDEOS of Vida Guerra at the Low Life Lowrider Show, two clips from Barriogirls and footage from a Lowrider show in Japan (yes, they get down).
DJ Kayslay a.k.a. The Drama King always keeps it gully. A few years back, I interviewed the man who’ll “slap your favorite D.J.” and not only was he down-to-Earth, he didn’t plead the fifth on tough questions. Not only does he run Streetsweepers Entertainment, host multiple radio shows and drop hella mixtapes, Slay is also the publisher of my favorite magazine: Straight Stuntin. For his ability to hustle alone, The Drama King already had my respect.
Twitter is a trash heap of worthless babble but there are a few diamonds in the rough. Many of these gems come from the comical and utterly hood profile of Kayslay. Sometimes he drops parables like a ghetto Confucius; other times he types random, non-P.C. shit. Either way, it’s entertaining.
So below the jump is a bunch of Kayslay Twitter quotes and loose threads that I got a kick out of. Also posted are BONUS VIDEOS of the Straight Stuntin Magazine Model Search in Colorado and footage from the mag’s sexy photo shoots.
Kayslay’s new album, More Than A DJ, features damn near everybody: Busta Rhymes, Raekwon, Maino, Jim Jones, Papoose, Remy Ma, Joell Ortiz, Uncle Murda, Saigon, Rick Ross, Ghostface Killah, AZ, Sheek Louch and the list goes on & on. More Than A DJ is in stores and online February 9th.
“In America there’s freedom of speech… just watch what you say.”-Ice-T
It was only a matter of time.
Facebook has banned me once again. An anonymous tipster, perhaps inspired by T.I.’s public service announcements, reported me to the authorities for an “offensive” photo. In fact, the infamous pic is posted below (pssst… the chick gagged and tied to a chair). At least they gave me a warning before the sequel.
The first time it happened, I was confused and straight heated. But today, when my profile vanished like charity funds, it didn’t phase me. For starters, The Spizzy’s Fan Page still exists on Facebook. Secondly, I know most of my Facebook friends personally and we can chop it up a variety of ways. Considering the Haiti situation, a Facebook ban is pretty trivial.
But the fact that the rat was on my so-called “friend” list really stuck in my craw. Take a look at this notification FB sent; perhaps you’ve received one before:
“You uploaded a photo that violates our Terms of Use, and this photo has been removed. Facebook does not allow photos that attack an individual or group, or that contain nudity, drug use, violence, or other violations of the Terms of Use. These policies are designed to ensure Facebook remains a safe, secure and trusted environment for all users, including the many children who use the site.”
ROPED TOGETHER BY KHALID STRICKLAND a.k.a. BLACK PACINO
“She’s pretty tied up, hangin’ upside down/She’s pretty tied up and you can ride her…”-Guns N’ Roses, PRETTY TIED UP
Who’s feelin’ crazy today?
Don’t get it twisted, I’m not into tyin’ chicks up… unless it’s in conjunction with a robbery or kidnapping.
Well, that ain’t entirely true. The thought crosses my mind when my lady won’t shut up and let me watch football.
Wonder Woman was into bondage, that’s why she always had that Magic Lasso… so Superman could tie her to the bed with it. With his extraordinary strength, he’d make some really tight knots.
But that’s beside the point. Why the hell did I post a bunch of sexy ladies bound, gagged and suspended from ceilings? Shit… if I could answer that question, I’d figure out why I poured Hennessy over my Cap’n Crunch this morning. Or why I watched all seven of those God-awful Police Academy flicks in one sitting. But some things you don’t ponder, you just roll with ‘em.
Do you have the fortitude to cross the velvet rope and see wild-ass pics of captive chicks? If so, you’ll also find BONUS VIDEOS of a hot Shibari babe tying a few knots and other clips of poetry-in-motion. For those who don’t know, Shibari, also known as Kinbaku, is the erotic art of Japanese bondage.
We’ve sent prayers to the people of Haiti and their families here in The States. It’s time to send donations as well.
Here is a statement fromWyclef Jeanabout yesterday’s massive earthquake, taken straight from his blog.
“Haiti today faced a natural disaster of unprecedented proportion, an earthquake unlike anything the country has ever experienced.
The magnitude 7.0 earthquake – and several very strong aftershocks – struck only 10 miles from Port-au-Prince.
I cannot stress enough what a human disaster this is, and idle hands will only make this tragedy worse. The over 2 million people in Port-au-Prince tonight face catastrophe alone. We must act now.
President Obama has already said that the U.S. stands ‘ready to assist’ the Haitian people. The U.S. Military is the only group trained and prepared to offer that assistance immediately. They must do so as soon as possible. The international community must also rise to the occasion and help the Haitian people in every way possible.
Many people have already reached out to see what they can do right now. We are asking those interested to please do one of two things: Either you can use your cell phone to text “Yele” to 501501, which will automatically donate $5 to the Yele Haiti Earthquake Fund (it will be charged to your cell phone bill), or you can visit YELE.ORG and click on DONATE.”
Haiti needs your prayers and support: Wyclef Jean on CNN Click Here
Wyclef aided his homeland long before this natural disaster, so his word on the matter is platinum to me. If you want to share legit information on how to help Haiti, or just your thoughts and well-wishes, feel free to use the comment box below.
Detroit’s own Royce Da 5’9 has not only mastered the art of emceeing, he has also become proficient in the fine art of multi-tasking. While his latest digital EP, The Revival, circulated the internet, Royce dropped his latest album, Street Hop, in September. DJ Premier helmed Street Hop as executive producer, a merger with plenty of upside. And on the subject of monster collaborations, Royce is also a member of the four-man super-group, Slaughterhouse, along with his once-foe Joe Budden, Crooked I and Joell Ortiz. On paper, the lineup reads like a Hip-Hop Murderer’s Row and the skilled quartet’s album was released to stellar reviews. The group toured vigorously to support their cause.
Royce Nickel-Nine juggled each project with the dexterity and confidence that accompanies his wordplay. In addition to the grind, he also had an interview with me on his to-do list. This interview actually took place last year, right before Slaughterhouse released their album. Much of this interview was published in the current issue of Rap Fanatic Magazine… the same one that highlights The Spizzy. If you haven’t copped it already you should, because it features Maino, Jadakiss, Busta, Havoc and many other notables.
But Royce and Slaughterhouse are hot on the streets right now and I’m a capitalist. So I’ve posted the entire interview right here for The Spizzy Familia. You can tell it was in another publication because the profanity is edited out.
Head south of the border and peep my exciting chat with the one and only Royce Nickel-Nine.
CORONATION BY KHALID STRICKLAND a.k.a. BLACK PACINO
PHOTOS BY DUANE LEGWORK
Some comment boxes are paved with gold.
During an online foray, I found pics of a random Asian model who shall remain nameless. She was solidly built and out of curiosity, I scrolled through the comments for a people’s verdict. Most were the usual thirsty fare but one dude wrote to no one particular:
“Ya’all think (so & so) is dope? Check out Kat Yun Marie. She’s the thickest Asian.”
Well, I like to stay in the thick of things so I did some homework and BINGO! Dude’s commentary was on the money:Kat Yun Marieis a Blasian model with a body to be reckoned with. Good Lord. My eyes were crazy-glued to this exotic beauty from Detroit. It may be “Cold in the D” but Kat and her combustible sex-appeal generate blistering heat. From head to toe, Ms. Marie is an impossibly complete and total package. Gorgeous, unforgettable face. Voluptuous buns. Ample thighs and curvy, superhuman calves. But what sealed the deal is that once we connected she was down-to-earth and pretty smart. Then I knew what had to be done.
Since it’s a new decade, perhaps it’s time for The Spizzy to crown a new queen. Kat Yun Marie is more than worthy. With appearances at Royalthickness and DymeXtreme under her belt, she has the natural tools for modeling greatness. So I’m anointing her Queen of The Spizzy as of NOW. That’s right, Thirst Mob. Hold your applause until after you finish reading our interview and viewing her yummy photos…
In case you don’t keep an ear to the street, Dashah is a highly-proficient emcee from Wyndanch, the same Long Island hood as Rakim and Erick Sermon. He is also affiliated with Ill Insanity, a trio of legendary deejays who were once part of The X-ecutioners. Grand Master Roc Raida, a founding member of The X-ecutioners, passed away on September 19, 2009. Dashah was the only emcee to appear on Ill Insanity’s 2008 album, Ground Xero. He should be returning from Japan this week; he was performing at clubs over there and expanding the franchise.
The term “lyricist” can conjure up negative connotations but even with his mean wordplay, Dashah can select beats and construct songs. That was made evident with his 2008 album, Rap Burglar, which was updated and re-released as Rap Burglar 2.5 the following year. Now, he’s teamed up with his close friend and producer DJ Pause to form the duo Fresh Vetz. Their debut album, Vet Status, will remind true-school rap fans of better days.
“Old-school tactics but new-school crafted,” Dashah says when describing the Fresh Vetz sound. “We’re paying homage to our heroes like G. Rap, Rakim, Kane and KRS-ONE. We’re old-school, golden-era heads so we want people to understand the cloth that we’re cut from. But we try not to keep it too nostalgic and we still do newer-sounding shit. Use new sounds and still make it classic.”
“We don’t try to make a specific sound… just really what comes out of us,” DJ Pause adds. “We’re trying to make what we feel Hip-Hop is; whether it’s what’s going on right now, new or old style, commercial or underground… whatever you want to categorize it as. That’s just how we do it. We’re not trying to put ourselves in a box or nothin’ but that’s just what we are and we stay true to ourselves.”
Under the hood is the tracklist and download link for Vet Status. There are also three videos so the newcomers can get a sample of the dope.
My dude Sundi went huntin’ on planet Brooklyn and found targets in the narrow streets of Bushwick.
Sun pulled out the cannon and fired a bunch of shots… he collected a lot of trophies, like the one posted above.
The industrial sector of Bushwick is a colorful maze of warehouses tattooed with graffiti. There are some really dope works of art here, proving that the Rotten Apple’s cultural and creative juices aren’t completely sucked dry.
Below the jump, enjoy the art without navigating the labyrinth. Bushwick ain’t the place to get lost at, so if you’re unfamiliar with the area but love great graffiti… this is the online gallery for you. We O.D.’d on photographs and stuffed this post to the brim like a Godfather blunt. ‘Cuz Elvira Montana said it best:
I saw this video clip on the news last night and nearly coughed up my Kush. It’s so insane, I had to share it.
To summarize this funny, soon-to-be-classic clip, here’s an excerpt from the New York Daily News:
“A prisoner bolted from custody near a Staten Island precinct Wednesday and led cops on a wild chase before he was nabbed a short time later, police sources said.
Naquan Thompson was linked to 17 other prisoners who were being led out of the 120th Precinct when he slipped his left hand from a cuff and made a run for it.
Thompson, 22, bolted down Wall St. toward the ferry terminal, where he leaped off a ramp leading to the Staten Island Railway station and broke his ankle. He ducked into a conductor’s booth in a train on Track 3, sources said. That’s where cops arrested him about 15 minutes after the daring escape. Charges were against him were pending, police said. He was hospitalized for the broken ankle.
Thompson was headed to court to face charges for a December robbery on Staten Island, police sources said. His court date was delayed.”
The NYPD did some nifty damage control because it was initially reported that Mr. Thompson hid out for 30 minutes, not 15 like the Daily News claims. It was also reported that the cops were unaware he escaped until the cameraman pointed it out. Staten Island, eh? Can we somehow link this nigga to Wu-Tang? Perhaps he was under the influence of Ghostface Killah’s joint, “Run.”
Either way, Naquan Thompson is The Spizzy’s New Yorker of the Week.
PHOTOS BY LLOYD PARKS, PATRICK ADAMS & DEL ANTHONY
New year, same shit.
Veronica Vior and her robust frame is a great way to kick-off the decade. She’s been featured in magazines like Sweets, Smooth, Urban Ink, Gorgeous and the bible of booty, Straight Stuntin. Miss Vior is Italian, Spanish & Russian; the combined thickness of three nationalities. Her full-figured body is without error. Find me a sexier, sturdier pair of legs and I’ll find you affordable real estate in New York City.
Under the hood you’ll find a stack of Veronica Vior photos. They’re simply mesmerizing.
Rap ain’t the only genre of entertainment with a decline in quality over the years. Another group of ghetto performers have also fallen from grace.
Bums.
Panhandlers just ain’t what they used to be. While I was in Burger King yesterday, some uncharismatic bum walked up to me and rudely blurted out:
“You got a quarter?”
Son… what the fuck kind of sales pitch is that?
It’s bad enough that a perfectly healthy, grown-ass man is asking for spare change. But at least entertain me, nigga. A lil’ song & dance. Tell a joke or something. In my day, the best bums had a gimmick that set them apart from the rest of the pack. A distinct flavor, if you will.
Don’t bother looking for any profound messages or artsy-fartsy rationalization behind this post. This is sex & violence FOR THE SAKE OF SEX & VIOLENCE. I’m not tryin’ to save the Earth or no sentimental crap like that; The Devil runs this chunk of rock anyway. I post these pictures for one reason and ONE reason only…
Because I feel like it. And you “holy rollers” can lubricate your morals and shove ‘em up your ass.
Sex & violence is the foundation of American entertainment so why frost it with layers of bullshit? I’d rather strip it down to the bare essentials and give it to you raw; like freshly-harvested Indica before it’s pissed-on, stomped out and sprayed with insecticides. This is bare-knuckled, no gloves. It’s a celebration of mayhem and violence… like Thanksgiving.
Chicks With Guns 2 had a bit of a message because Facebook banned me for a while before accepting me back into the fold. They thought I learned my lesson but since I’m hard-headed, I returned with a vengeance and posted links to CWG2 on Facebook. So when the gunsmoke cleared, my heartfelt and thought-provoking message was “Fuck You.”
To complete the Chicks With Guns trilogy, however, I’m returning to the original recipe. Below the jump, there is a shooting gallery of sexy pictures. And if that ain’t enough to quench your thirst for hotties packin’ heat, there are BONUS VIDEOS of gorgeous gunslingers bustin’ caps. Don’t catch a stray.
