Whoo Kid and Alesha Renee at Harlem Lanes
WORDS BY KHALID STRICKLAND a.k.a. BLACK PACINO
PHOTOS BY E-PILLS
It looks fun, but since I don’t rock funky shoes worn by other people (unless they’re Prada), I don’t bowl. Some folks enjoy bowling very much; celebrities, in fact. Recently, the homie E-Pills and I attended the cleverly-titled “Bowling with the Stars” event at Harlem Lanes. It was a private, invitation-only affair to launch the Shooters Bowling League. Coors Light, who apparently sponsors everything, also backed this tight shindig. New York’s tastemakers, industry hustlers, radio personalities and the usual freeloaders were networking up a storm.
The Shooters Bowling League is a 29-member team that features Ed Lover (of Power 105FM and Yo! MTV Raps fame) as team captain. Juelz Santana and G-Unit’s DJ Whoo Kid are also key players on the squad. All three hip-hop luminaries showed up to support. Alesha Renee, host of B.E.T.’s show The 5ive, was also in attendance with her fine self. Fonda Rae, who sang the hit songs “Over Like a Fat Rat” and “Touch Me (All Night Long),” was in the house with a smokin’-hot, tight grey dress hugging her ample curves. DJ Blazita, winner of “Best Female DJ” at the 2008 Justo’s Mixtape Awards, passed through Harlem Lanes with her publicist (and my homegirl) Cynamin Jones of Soul Pitch Media. Speaking of mixmasters, DJ Don Juan and DJ Cee-Lo shared the honor of spinning records that evening. Also spotted was the legendary Teddy Ted of The Awesome Two and Julito McCullum, the young actor who played Namond Brice on The Wire.
Lame-ass shutterbugs get the typical paparazzi flicks and red carpet filler…. *yawn* BORING!! E-Pills, on the other hand, knows what the fellas (and their girlfriends who have girlfriends) at The Spizzy want….
This chick was dope and unbeknown to her, she’s now on the starting line-up of my Fantasy Wife Team. Shorty’s caboose, perhaps one of the biggest I’ve ever seen, was highlighted by her thin, tapered waist. I’m going to bring a scorecard emblazoned with a perfect “10″ to these events, so I can hold it up high for marvels like this…
BRAVO!! That’s at least 500 GB of booty right there. You may have to increase your computer’s memory to load that photo up. Right click and save it for those lonely nights, fellas.
The Coors Light babes weren’t bad either. Wrapped in their tight silver mini-skirts, they looked almost like tall, sexy beer cans. I wanted to crack ‘em open and quench my thirst.
After promising us a photo if we waited for a few hours, Ed Lover shooed us away while slithering out of the premises. “Nah, I’m out,” he muttered without eye contact, knowing that it was a media-covered affair. Even Stephanie, the event’s publicist, couldn’t corral him for one measly pic. Oh well, at least I meet down-to-earth dudes like Raekwon, Bun-B and Capone-N-Noreaga to balance out that bullshit.
“Bowling With The Stars” gets a Facebook-style thumbs-up from me; I had a good time and I drafted a new Fantasy Wife to deepen my rotation. Shout-out to Stephanie of the Carnegie PR Group, a lady who’s very much on top of her business. With bone-headed publicists epically failing me as of late, I can appreciate some professionalism every now and then.
‘Til we meet again, here are some more flicks of the action. Peace!
BRAVO!! That’s at least 500 GB of booty right there. You may have to increase your computer’s memory to load that photo up. Right click and save it for those lonely nights, fellas.————–you are hilarious….lmao her booty was big as hell though she had to be boriqua with a j-lo ass like that
yeah, that was definitely hall-of-fame booty right there.
it reduced me to tears.
I think shorty should come off the bench K. she lost panty line points ;-O
She can fill in soem points for the 2nd unit. And was that a coupon stuick to her A$$?
yeah, that’s a coupon on her ass. i put a down payment on it.
man, her ass is almost swallowin’ up those drawers! she’s rockin’ see-thru spandex tights & her booty is stretchin’ ‘em to the max… that’s why you see her panties.
again, it ain’t just the booty that makes her an all-star, it’s her WAIST. that’s perfection, buddy.
Son, I damn near broke the track ball on my blackberry trying to scroll over all dat ass! I’m forced to view it on the cell because a cat can loose his job with that amount of ass on the office’s computer screen! Good Lord!!!
See, that’s the reason niggaz need to be self-employed.
not for the independence. not for the satisfaction of being an boss.
but so that we can scope as much internet booty as we want without fear of being fired.
can i get an amen?
WOW thats a site to behold. Looks like it was a fun night. All i know is whenever i went bowling i never saw a ass like that
hahaha.
it looked like she had two bowling balls stuffed in her spandex.
cuz o’ that, i looked like i had a bowling pin stuffed in the crotch of my jeans.
Sun….mami’s ass was official…her whole body was!….shit don’t make no sense, man…of course it don’t stick out like a sista’s ass but she can still get it!
LOL!
no one has anything to say about bowling… just azz.
you guys are a bunch of pervs, man!
by the way if she’s boricua, then she’s a sista.
True…good point…wasn’t thinking from that perspective..
Pervs bowl too!
I KNOW I WOULDNT HAVE BEEN BOWLING PROBABLY DRUNK TRYING TO PROPOSITION SHORTY…SORRY WAT CAN I SAY…LOOKS LIKE A GOOD PARTY ..GOOD SHIT DIRTY ASS ANGEL…”BROOKLYN!!!”
BROOOOOKLYYYYYYN!!!!!
anytime you around me, snizake, i get hype.
i wanna break somebody’s fuckin’ jaw.
i wanna bust a ratchet in the fuckin’ air.
i wanna give a nigga a buck-fitty across his fuckin’ face.
but since we’re online, i’ll settle for crushin’ these lames one blog at a time.
Anyone know that girl’s name? She’s gotta have some modeling pics up somewhere…
Yeah, with a figure like that she must be a model. Wish I knew, homie. But I’ll use my journalism investigative skills to find out.
According to the dudes at Harlem Lanes, I think her name is “Daaaaaaamn!”
WOW LOOK AT ALL THE SKEEMING GOLD DIGGERS
It wouldn’t be a party without ‘em, my friend.
B4 the next party I’mma rub a stack of hundreds on my skin & see if I absorb the scent. Maybe I’ll attract some birds.
500 GB worth of booty
*comatose*