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The interruption of my workflow falls squarely on the shoulders of my homie JaJa. For once, I was on course to beat the newspaper’s deadline and submit my articles in a timely manner. After falling behind in my assignments again and again, redemption would finally be mine.

Then Ja, under the false impression that I’m a horn-dog, sent around a video clip of famed Brazilian model and Playboy centerfold Andressa Soares shakin’ her big ol’ tush. Naturally I ASSumed that Ja sent me the clip because he wanted me to use my journalistic skills and research this chick for him… not because I’m a booty fanatic who’d go ape-shit over AndreSSa’s well-tanned, mondo butt. How I earned such a perverted rep is beyond me.

Anyhoo, I did what any responsible journalist would… I dropped my newspaper articles and focused on finding more material of Andressa Soares. I soon discovered that her nickname is Muhler Melancia; Portuguese for “Watermelon Woman.” Yes, her huge buns are comparable to a pair of sweet, juicy melons. All that booty is packed into a 5′6″ frame and her measurements are 36-26-48 (forty-eight? DAAAAAMN!!!). Is there enough room in my Fantasy Wife Team’s starting line-up to fit that behemoth butt? Somehow I’ll find a way to wedge it in, even if it means trimming down the roster.

Head south-of-the-border for a heap of sexy photos and some of the hottest video footage known to mankind. Once again, I miss the newspaper’s deadline. Thanks a lot, JaJa… you trouble-maker.

Next up is what can only be referred to as “extreme blogging.”  This is totally uncalled for and admittedly, I’m going a bit too far.  But if you fucks with  Black Pacino, you already know I’mma play Keith Murray and push your head through the cracks of sanity.  If you’re too lame for The Spizzy, take yo’ scared-ass to SOHH or Allhiphop and read some gossip like a bitch.

The hardcore niggas can take a deep breath and prepare for a video avalanche of booty-shakin’ at it’s finest.  Mulher Melancia will show you no mercy…


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“Damaging your medulla, cerebrum and cerebellum… you got a crew you better tell ’em.”

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