“I try to hide myself from what is wrong for me…”-Alice in Chains, DIRT.
My name is Black Pacino and I’m an Assoholic.
My addiction nearly destroyed me, that’s why I’m here at Assoholics Anonymous to share my experience with you. I’ve walked into traffic several times, narrowly becoming roadkill, all because I was distracted by some random chick’s phat ass. I blew stacks on lapdances at hole-in-the-wall stripclubs… on more than one occasion, my rent money ended up in a broad’s thong.
But I finally hit rock bottom after discovering Brazilian porn queen Darlene Amaro, also known as Delanie. She’s the one who caused my overdose…
The doctors who revived me said I suffered a sensory overload; my brain could not process that much ass at one time. See, I bought a DVD called Big Butt Brazilian Orgy #7 by Evasive Angles… but only to research Brazil as a travel destination. The flick was a sex-a-thon featuring 13 humongous-booty chicks goin’ all out with a handful of lucky studs.
With her pretty face, crazy ass-to-waist ratio and titanic cheeks, Darlene stood out among the pack. She ain’t have junk in the trunk, she had an entire junkyard. And she knew how to work it. The guys Darlene rode were mere stunt dicks… she ran the show.
When the smoke (and man juice) cleared, one woman was crowned as the absolute freakiest: DARLENE AMERO.
After that impressive performance, I was a straight Darlene fiend. Any video she was in wast a must-see. Any photo was a must save. I stole money from my friends to support my habit. Even pawned my Super Bowl ring.
Every now and then I’d go in my Darlene stash and have a fix.
But then I got greedy, hit the entire brick at once and had a booty overload. Like an alligator on its back, my lizard-brain shut down and rocked me to sleep.
I couldn’t have that shit layin’ around, so I dumped it at The Spizzy for the incurable Thirst Mob. The photos, the videos, EVERYTHING. Why let it go to waste?
Anyway, I’ve wiped my hands clean of Darlene Amaro. I’ve seen the light. It won’t be easy but I’m on the road to recovery and I wanted to share my story and inspire fellow assoholics. One step at a time, brothers and sisters.
One step a time.
Hmmm… I wonder what the Thirst Mob did with those bootylicious PHOTOS & VIDEOS…
There’s a lotta contraband stashed at The Spizzy. Hopefully, my friends in the Thirst Mob won’t overdose. ‘Cuz the photos alone are potent but with the videos, it’s like speedballin’ heroin and coke. Might be too much for them to handle.
Although I’m in a twelve-step program, I still appreciate Darlene’s colossal caboose. That’s why this post gets the well-deserved Big Booty Legends tag. She’s got a Hall-of-Fame ass and her on-screen performances are fuckin’ awesome.