RESPECT THE HOOTERS

WORDS BY KHALID STRICKLAND a.k.a. BLACK PACINO

PHOTOS BY KYRAH VALENTIĆ

My friend Kyrah Valentić has a phat bottom, as illustrated in an earlier post.  But this Croatian beauty also has a luscious top; the photo above is Exhibit A.  She makes that Spizzy T-shirt look oh-so-good and I thank her for the glowing endorsement.

Posting Kyrah’s photo on Facebook, however, taught me a valuable lesson.  Remember when Eddie Murphy disguised himself as a white guy to see if people treated him differently? Well, I had a similar out-of-body experience.

See, what happened was…

I dug this photo of Kyrah’s rack so much that I used it as my profile pic on Facebook.  It’s great promotion, like a sexy billboard.

Then I got a bunch of friend requests from shirtless dudes flexing their muscles and I ain’t with that shit.  They thought I was the hot blond chick in the profile pic, even though my name is Black Pacino.  Duh!

Dudes are so thirsty they don’t even read the profile information, which clearly indicates that I’m a straight male from Brooklyn.  Ain’t bother to peep my photo albums to investigate.  They just spit game and sent me lewd messages… my goodness, men are such barbarians! That’s why so many dudes get caught with transvestites and shit, cuz they’re so horny they don’t pay attention to detail.

“Damn u fine, baby!”

“Hey, boo… got any black in you? If not, do you want some?”

“Breast feed me!”

Whoaaaa… slow down, you nasty muthafuckas!

I knew the inevitable “penis photo” would be the next thing to hit my inbox and that’s automatic beef.  Rather than be forced to hunt a nigga down and kill him, I decided to change my profile pic to something more masculine.  But not before having a greater appreciation for women and the bullshit they have to put up with.

Well, I’m turning over a new leaf.  Never again will I callously treat a woman like a piece of meat.  From now on, I will be a perfect gentleman.

But first… who wants to see Kyrah’s firm, round a$$?!

Ah, you gotta have hands like Shaq to palm those buns.

Not only is she fine as frog hair (as my man Blue Legacy would say), Kyrah herself has great taste in women.  Check out her blog, ASS IS THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE.  It’s chock full o’ sexy booty, which is universal.  T&A brings the world together.  Thanks again for the luv, General Kyrah.  It’s always appreciated.

*Salutes*

Ladies & gentlemen, if you want a Spizzy T-shirt of your very own… the details are HERE.

Previously posted:

WE ARE THE WORLD

TEE PARTY

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