“I exploit you, still you love me / I tell you one and one makes three / I’m the cult of personality” – Living Colour
To a degree, I can relate to Maury Povich.
Once upon a time, Maury was a distinguished journalist and acclaimed news anchor. After a stellar radio and TV career, Maury was eventually rewarded with his TV talk own show, which was expected to further raise his profile. Then somewhere along the line it all went astray. The Maury Povich Show deteriorated into the lowbrow, simpler-titled Maury and veered into what critics call trash TV. Now Povich is known for a segment on his show called “Who’s the Daddy?” where men who deny paternity are given DNA tests and the results are revealed on the air. Ghetto hijinks ensue.
Well, I was once a promising journalist who contributed to The New York Amsterdam News, the oldest and most prestigious black newspaper in the country. I’ve written for Caribbean Life, which is owned by the New York Post and got my checks signed by the Devil himself, Rupert Murdoch. My work can also be found in several print magazines, well-known websites and even the playbill for Laurence Fishburne’s one-man Broadway show, Thurgood.
Then on March 1st 2009, I founded The Spizzy and much like Maury Povich, I went astray. The reward of cheap thrills came quickly, so I started posting up my vices: weed, hot chicks and a trailer-load of porn. Indeed, The Spizzy inspired other sites to alter their programming and follow in our footsteps, which is flattering. But now, that’s all I’m known for. Black Pacino is the guy who posts up booty. The Horniest of Horndogs. Godfather of the Thirst Mob. The New York Press Club won’t be nominating me for shit anytime soon.
But y’know what? Over the past three years I’ve come to accept my calling. The Spizzy has a deep and loyal cult following, even without ritual sacrifice. Our thirst is quenched by broads with phat asses, not poison Kool Aid. I don’t ask people to bomb anything in the name of The Spizzy… unless somebody wants to plant C4 on the set of the next Madea movie.
There’s no turning back, it is what is. I traded my Pulitzer Prize for an XBiz Award. But hey, the trashy route worked for Maury… he’s still on the air and getting plenty of views. I won’t be doing any paternity tests (to hell with handling sperm samples) but I will soldier on for the sake of my flock.
Call me Sleazus Khrist.