I wonder if Heaven has a bookie. The Baltimore Ravens defeated the New England Patriots this past Sunday, earning themselves a trip to Super Bowl 47.  This magical playoff run is a storybook ending for Ravens’ linebacker and living legend Ray Lewis, who announced that this will be his final season before retiring.  Winning a […]

Pardon me while I get my Skip Bayless on. After getting off to an extremely hot start this season, things have cooled off considerably for my New York Knicks.  Before yesterday’s matinee win over the lowly New Orleans Hornets, the Knicks were on a 3 game losing streak and haven’t looked like the same team […]

The Clone Wars continue. Stem-cell scientists have a strong case in favor of cloning: Sage Steele (of ESPN fame) & Misty Stone (of XXX fame).  These two gorgeous women are radically different but can easily pass for sisters. In the photo above (which you can click to enlarge), Sage is to the left and Misty […]

Ever since last season, porn superstars Sara Jay and Angelina Castro promised their Twitter followers free blowjobs if the Miami Heat won the NBA championship.  Last year the Dallas Mavericks took the crown and beat the Heat in the Finals, disappointing all the anxious horndogs expecting free head.  Well, this season the Heat beat OKC […]

Whoever invented the phrase “There are no free rides in life” obviously never met Juwan Howard, Ronny Turiaf and Eddy Curry of the newly-crowned NBA champion Miami Heat.  By default, these three benchwarmers will receive championship rings along with guys who actually contributed to the team’s success.  But those of us who watch basketball know […]

Congrats to my hometown Knicks ending our postseason drought and winning a playoff game after 11 years of futility.  I still believe the superior Miami Heat will win the series and advance to the next round.  There are plenty of holes this mismatched team has to fix during the off-season.  Space cadet Knicks owner James […]

Greg Oden’s injury-plagued tenure with the Portland Trailblazers finally came to an end when the team waived him after five years; a span in which he’s only played 82 games… the equivalent of a single NBA season. In honor of Greg Oden and the organization that wasted a No. 1 draft pick to get him […]

My turn to cash in on LINsanity. I tip my Knicks-fitted to Jeremy Lin, the NBA point guard who within the span of a week, skyrocketed from obscure benchwarmer to hero who single-handedly saved the Knicks season.  Lin was undrafted out of Harvard and is just the fourth Asian-American player in the NBA. He was […]

Amar’e Stoudemire was right when he proclaimed, “The Knicks are back.”  They’re back… to being garbage. At least racist Donald Sterling got coveted free agent Chris Paul for the Los Angeles Clippers, so the title of worst owner in professional basketball goes to James Dolan of the New York Knicks.  “Guitar Jimmy” is an idiot […]

Last week I was in the Land of the Rising Sun.  Now, I’m back in the Land of the Rising Guns. Although I’ve been back in New York Shitty for 7 days now, my body is still operating on Japan time; 14 hours ahead.  We had a lot of fun over there and once again, […]

Since players & owners can’t come to an agreement and end the lockout, it looks like there isn’t going to be an NBA season this year.  Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player of all-time and current majority owner of the Charlotte Bobcats, was one of the strongest advocates against giving the players concessions in the […]